Gay night life in Hanoi*

It may surprise my fellow readers but i am not what you can call a expert of gay night life in Hanoi, nor in general :p, but i was an expert for night life before (when i was young and bald yet... joking...for a few years :( ).

Anyway, let's start with inescapable place :

• Solace (End of Chuong Duong Do):  a common night club with ok music to shitty one (depends on the dj and you) but it is a nice place as it a boat on the red river
• Lighthouse (formely barracuda) (51 Phuc Tan): the music seems to be a bit better and seems also to be less closed by police (you understand when you live here). this nightclub is located close to solace. I read some rumor it is/was gay friendly but i don't think so as it has a broad audience.
• Dragonfly (15 Hang Buom): one of the biggest "late" bar for expat. Several rooms with different athmosphere, the old staff is friendly.
• Tet bar  (formerly maquis) (2a Ta Hien): french crowded place so it has a different athmosphere compared to other bar.
• Funky monkey (31 Hang Thung): expensive and noisy place with a mix of trash-posh young vietnamese and tourists. You can forget it though i went there a few times with friends and had a few good times (taking all the dance place for us only)
• FM3 (2D Duong Thanh): same owner as the previous (but the number 3, the 1 is no more and the other is the 2 obviously). More expensive, more noisy (loud), damn cold, no space to dance and no westerners... some mafia with their money girls. Nice place! Anyway if it was a bit more friendly and with some space to dance it would be similar to the place à like in Bangkok.

Gay-friendly

• Mao's red lounge (7 Tạ Hiên): Oi gioi oi, it took me a few weeks to get in! I read on some website it is gay-friendly but actually when i get in, it was normal. Since then i read it is gay owned. Anyway the athmosphere is good (westerner only almost :/) but it's good ol' 80's 90's music!
• Apocalypse now (no adress): how not to mention it? Well it's down now but i heard it was a damn great place (i read a blog describing a gay kiss in front of everyone!!! Incredible here).. RIP with XXX (i will find the name again i promise :p)

Gay-oriented:

• GC bar (5a Bao Khanh Lane): i let you gues what GC stands for! Quiet place with a snooker and good music during the week... H.O.T. place on friday and especially saturday evening! Ultra crowded, nice modern shitty music :D. As you can imagine i like very much this place though it's a damn cruising bar...
• VTN (72 Nguyen Du): I read it's a gay place i saw nothing when i checked during the week... looks even a bit shitty though, GC is the same during the week.
• Connect cafe (So 8, Duong 2, Khu Tap The F361, An Duong, West lake ): i didn't check this one but i read it's like 'the place where to be'.
• Adam Sauna (92 Ngo Tho Quan, Pho Kham Thien): I am not ready yet to go there, i have a too bad idea of gay sauna...

Ressouces:

newhanoian.com: a general expat-in-hanoi webportal, damn useful!

utopia-asia.com: some info but not up  to date.

*: I know i am in contradiction with a previous post, let's say i am less paranoid.

Ban dang o day

(My friend is here)

He arrives a few days ago and stayed in Hanoi for 36 hours so i had no opportunity to talk to him, though we said a couple of words about "girflriends" and the girls in Vietnam (whom, i agree, can be really cute).

He will come back after a tour around the north and i still wonder if i will tell him. Previously on Battlestar Hanoi (yes i am crazy of BSG... and the season 4 is on air :D), i was really willing and very confident to tell him but i am not anymore, still the same question for me.

Well, if i find a good opportunity,not right before his departure, i will tell him. So, if it's ok he could meet my bf.

Upcoming in BSH: i will doing a little overview of (gay) night life in Hanoi.. it won't take me too long ;)

Coming out?

A friend of mine will visit me this week-end.  I won't see him for long but i'm seriously thinking of "coming out" to him.

But why?

• He is not my closest friend.
• I have almost no idea of how he will react.
• He may tell all my friends when he comes back even if i ask him not too (worst scenario).
• I don't feel that much ready.
• I don't come back soon to my home country.
• I don't want to lose friends (story of my life by relocating...) even the stupid ones who could think i'm not worth it anymore.... stupid, i know already...

Because

• He is the first one to visit me here
• The next one is my best friend, he knows already and the following would be much later.
• He will be able to say that i am still the same (abnormal guy but that's another story), though maybe happier.
• The question about my love life are coming more often by instant message.
• I want them to contact me again. As we say "far from the eye, far from the heart", as the times pass by, i don't have much contact with them.
• I want to be able to tell them everything.
• I want to be able to tell someone: "yesterday i did that with my bf, bla bla bla" and i'm far from being ready to tell my family.
• I feel like it (best reason actually), though you are never totally ready in my point of view?

The plan

We will have lunch together, if i feel ok i will talk about our friends love life and his especially. I guess he will ask for mine. I may  say "it's a bit complicated (which is true as everyone ;) )". Finally, i'll tell him i found someone nice and that is .... a boy.

If he's ok with that, i plan to go for a coffee with my BF.

Bonux: I finally know a vietnamese word (i like) to call my BF, it's "cung" like the japanese "kun" (for those who know).

"funny reading"

I just had a funny reading from the web, a christian website.

They pretend to give real news (to oppose to mass media) with, obviously a christian point view. My today reading was the article about a company showing together laying on a bed (not naked & no implied sensuality ;)). 

They were totally shocked by it, because the kids can see it. Though, to tell you the truth, in my home country, homosexuality is not such a big deal. You... we may have some problem with the coming out or with homophobic acts but all around it is quite accepted.

To conclude their article, they call readers to send mail to the company and their business partners, giving the whole list of them... despicable.

The best, as usual, are in the comments like:

"Homosexuality is bad, that's all"

"Kids will see that every day"

"5% of the people admit to have had a homosexual act, it should'nt be normalize"

Sometimes i don't miss my home so much  ;)

Couple's dinner

As I am a "mot cham pa cham" (100%) romantic guy, I had the fantasy to do a "couple's dinner" since a very long time.

Finally I did it with my bf, a (westener) friend and his vietnamese girlfriend. It was really nice to do so because I (we?) were feeling like any common couple. Going out for a nice dinner then drive around (on motobike) to have an ice cream next to some beautiful lake at night. How crazy it is to feel just normal in such a homophobic country.

Although I have to moderate myself. I say that because I am astonished by the girlfriend, she has absolutely no problem with me and my bf. More incredible is that she even say some dirty implied joke ! 

That's why I, finally, think there is some for this country. I thought everything but mentalities was evolving very fast but it seems that it is changing also (though slowlier ;)).

Here comes the summer again

Finally the summer is coming again in Hanoi. Even sleeping alone is hot again ;)

Since a few days the temperature doesn't go under 22° in the night or 25° inside the house. Now we are waiting for the rain to cool down the athmosphere where a few weeks ago it was terrible to have rain because it meant very cold weather... Anyway this will last until September, so back to the pleasure of sleeping with noisy aircond' for 6 months! Although, the best is that there is absolutely no insulation.... which is really bad in both winter & summer ...

Cheers and enjoy your nice houses in your boring country! ;)

How to meet a guy (who loves guy) in Hanoi?

It's quite simple:  come back to your country! ;)

In fact, it's not so extreme... depending on what you want.

The first idea (as a tourist) would be to hang around in the tourist district and thanks to utopia-asia you would know that a few years ago you could have a "quickie" in some gloomy toilets. That was a few years ago and I think it's not the idea anymore (the cited toilets have been destroyed).

Result: Forget it!

Second idea: the bars!

Good idea... and cool bars are pretty rare here so it won't take you too much time! Here comes the problem. As Vietnam is quite unfriendly with LGBT people you won't find it easily (and forget your lonely planet). Let's say you found it (sorry I won't tell you the name of the only one I know to protect them from too much advertisement... I am sure police knows but as long as it's not well known they don't care... asian culture). First, you have to arrive at the right time so forget during the week, or you have to be much more lucky than me. Actually I went there a long time ago during the week with a hetero vietnamese friend who had no idea of it and it was like a quiet euro bar. So you are there, it's the week-end, around 10pm, the bar is totally crowded.  Congratulations the hunt can begin!... but people seems to be so hungry ;)

Results: 

• You want to ***: welcome! 
• You want to party with some of the "best partying people" : welcome!
• You want to find the one... good luck! 

Finally, you have the incredible internet world!

That's the way I found my boyfriend (as knows those who pay attention :p). Well, I think it's like any dating website. Depending on what you want you will find easily (fun) or it will take some time. Unlike other dating website (as far as I know) you may find some money boys.. beware!

Result: Welcome to the big supermarket but if you look for a special product you will have to search for it!

Check or not?

I met my boyfriend by a dating website, obviously it's really hard to find someone "on the field" (nb: do a post about that), but since then I check sometimes the same website.

I have to acknowledge that at first it was to check the market because I was unsure that it would be a long time relationship. I continued to receive a few messages but mainly by foreigners coming for holydays or some people I call in an unfriendly way "sex machine", like the one I met at some bar (nb: do another post about that).

I continued for a time with the same (bad) idea but also to check if he still goes there... which he did! Actually, I think that he is also checking on me because it is really not often (I won't tell you how I know but you can find easily).

I already have the answer to "Should I continue?": no, I should stop and talk to him about that, would say my communication expert friend. Although, I think less and less it can't be the one (am I falling in... love?), I have to say that I like to check the 'market', especially to see if other people I met there are still online.

Time's up

Finally, I, hereby declare that the time of (meaningless) question is ended! both for this blog and my life.

Consequently, I know there will be whatever I like in this blog without a predetermined main theme... as in my life!

Enjoy my huge non-readers! ;)

Can it be cute?

Yesterday I was looking at my flatmate's last excursion pictures. He was with his (vietnamese) girlfriend and they were really cute on photos... like teenagers. Obviously, they get along very well and are in love.

Concerning my relation with my boyfriend, we have no photo of us together and almost none of each other (I got 2 of him). Although the point of this post is: i can easily think heterosexual couples are cute together but not homosexual. Am I stupid to think that? Or am i not in love enough to see that?

Actually, we were listening to music and comparing taste. He listens a lot to good ol' english songs, especially love songs (and probably Vietnamese ones but not with me) and I can appreciate but I feel it's quite a silly situation because from a artistic point of view ... it's shit. In addition, I guess that I should not say that.