The end is near!

It's getting more and more difficult to find lubricant in Ha Noi. Before i could go to Vincom, then i had to go to some westerner shops, now i have to go to the pharmacy and explain it in vietnamese! I will soon need to go to some dedicated shop like condomviet.

Maybe i should let my dear bf do that? ;)

Sniff me!

On friday evening i and a (female) colleague were invited at my boss' house to say hi to his baby (less than 2 months old)... and...

Incredible: 

• I hold her (the baby not the colleague!), that was a first time for me
  
• She was deeply fascinated by my face
• She cried when it was time for me to go!

Anyway, that's a bit too bloggish for an anonymous blog. The interesting point is that my colleague sniffed several times the baby... If you are a reader of rqd you already know that thay boy sniff often instead of kissing.

Thus i wonder if vietnamese people do that too? From my experiences... never but i have some explanations. First, it could be for babies only. Indeed, when my bf kiss me he often jokes about doing "viet-kiss" (closed lips kiss... or smack i call that). Second, gays might be naughtier and dare to do the frecnh kiss (not all the time ^_^ ). Finally, i may smell really bad even after a shower >.< 

Still... it's so cuuuuuuute!

Final question: i wonder if gay people do that in thailand or is it the norm for every couple?

answer is no :

Wow - what an effect!

Photography

Usually i am very scathing with vietnam but i'm the type who criticizes what/who i like (and just don't bother with the rest).

Today is different because i found a vietnamese photographer whom i really like: Vamp. I don't think he's professionnal yet but he is definitely close to have the skills already.

An example, i really appreciate:

which is my desktop picture at the moment. The only problem of vamps is his habit to over-photoshop them or he has crazy skills taking photographies! :p

He has a lot of different styles of photographies: touristic photos like this one, the one i'm jealous of, one not shirtless boy (and not cute >.<) and an improbable gay couple... Just go check his collections.

In the future you may get some more images like this one (which is not from vamp):

(naaaaaaah this blog will not turn into shirtless boyz blog style 0:) )

(and yes this guy is vinameat :p)

Hook up online?

To meet guys there are a few places in Hanoi (bars, park, etc) as i previously wrote. The other alternative is on the web.

I found one main website to hook up online: gaydar  though gay.com (i tried...not so many guys) or gayromeo (never tried) but also vietsingle. I'm quite surprised by the last one as it is a "local only" dating site and it's operated locally. 

In contrary to what i know from field (bar) there are some lesbians too! Although after a quick check there is none from Ha Noi and most of them are from Saigon... what a shame for Ha noi! :p

Anyway, this post is just a little introduction for another one coming much later... :p

Comments ... FREE!

Woohoo!

I just had a few (2 actually) comments on this blog and i'm really happy to know that i may have readears, thanks!

I just realize  that comments were not opened to every one (blogger/openID only) so that was a bit  like:

Now it's opened to anyone !!! I hope i won't have to use my super moderator:

If you have any simple way to deal with spammed comment i would be happy to know and install it before it comes here.

ps: yes i'm another stupid fan of lolcats... "Sorry, me no has shirtless boyz collection".

Rainbow flag

Did you know ...

what symbolyze the rainbow flag apart the "gay community"?

At  first i thought it was many "sexualities" exist and are equals (and so say wikipedia).

That's untrue, each color has a different meaning:

• pink means sex
• red means life
• orange means health
• yellow means the sun
• turquoise means arts
• indigo means harmony
• purple means spirit

Although, the current flag has only 6 colors (check wikipedia for the story).

A little more about colors

We all know that pink is often associated with being gay, because of the pink triangle for the na..zi, though it's quite incorrect now, especially asia. Indeed, according to gayboythailand (sorry i forget where it is) the asian color for gay "show off" seems to be purple (i'm gonna enquire about it with my bf but i think there is no semi-official gay sign). 

A bit more information about the rainbow flag, here, an abstract:

The first Rainbow Flag was designed in 1978 by Gilbert Baker, a San Francisco artist, who created the flag in response to a local activist's call for the need of a community symbol. (This was before the pink triangle was popularly used as a symbol of pride.) Using the five-striped "Flag of the Race" as his inspiration, Baker designed a flag with eight stripes: pink, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. According to Baker, those colors represented, respectively: sexuality, life, healing, sun, nature, art, harmony, and spirit. Baker dyed and sewed the material for the first flag himself - in the true spirit of Betsy Ross. 

Coming out status

I had two purpose with this blog:

1. An outlet: at the very beginning i wanted to make a personnal diary to express all the things i could not.
2. Share my (gay) life in Hanoi: later on, the first purpose was quite left aside and i wanted to talke how it is to be gay in such a city.

Recently, i have talked only about number 2 but today is number 1...mostly.

I am officialy-to-myself gay since around june 2007 while i met my bf in late July (yeah we both forget the exact date -_-). Actually it is thanks to a housemate: she told me "it's weird, usually, i don't get along with boys like these appart gays" and then i told her (and myself) that i may have some questioning on the subject. 

After being with my bf, quickly all the housemates have been told about it. The last one, a boy, could not understand what i said and though for a few days it was joke but then he understood. It was no problem COs as we were young westerners “opened to the world".

A bit later on, a new housemate arrived, a very posh and not very resourceful guy. I knew, it would be a problem but we were not getting along so we didn't met so often. Althoug, once we've  been at the nightclub at the same time, quite drunk, and he told me: 

"i have something to tell you..." (why we don't get along etc) 

so i answered him 

"Nice, me too i have something to tell you, i prefer boyz and i know you can't take it". 

His answer is memorable:

"No, You, you don't take that" (like to take drugs), 5 times in a row!

That is the worse reaction to my CO so far though i had no pressure for this one.

Later on (last winter), i finally decided to tell my best friend about it. I did it using skype late at night, it was not easy to say the words without seeing the person but finally it came out. His reaction was "ah ok" which is quite ok ;) but what suprised me is that he already had a MSM experience and it was his first time but it was not his type... I asked him not to tell our shared friends as i was not ready yet.

A bit before summer, a friend came to Vietnam and i decided to tell him though i knew if i tell him, most of my friends will be informed. After many tries, i finally succeed to say:

 "ok wanna have a drink after dinner" 

- "no i'm tired"

- "you are sure?"

- "yes i'm really exausted"

5min later

- " well i want to take a drink because i have something to tell you"

This time it was difficult because he was in front of me but finally i succeeded and he had the  "ah ok" reaction. After that he met my bf and we chatted a bit. He stayed one more week in Vietnam so i had this time to prepare my friends back home.

As often, i was lazy and i call just 2 before his coming back and the rest after that. All of them were surprised, but had the "ah ok" reaction, but not shocked and wished me"be happy together".

The final CO was eventually to my family. That was the most difficult and still going on...but may evolve toward a good end.

Today, i got the idea that it may be the time for me to start my COs with vietnamese people. Shortly, there are two (maybe 3) categories of vietnamese i know who i may do a CO.

Colleagues

When i say "colleagues" it is only the young ones that may be able not to kick me right away. I tried to do a few jokes like "well i'm not very good at getting a girlfriend so maybe i show go for boyfriend?", their answers were a big minute long silence. Although, i think the women may take it quite ok while i think the men will take it quite bad.

Friends

I don't have so much friends that are not my colleagues but they are more open minded people (in my opinion). Actually, according to my dear friend N., one of them, a girl, may have guessed already...too bad she's one of the few i'd like to try again *** with 0:-)

Why doing a coming out to vietnamese?

The first reason is that there is a lot of gossip about me (like anyone else though especially singles) and one includes a former "affair" (i use to try to date) with a girl. It's some time i don't think about her (Hey i've been with my BF more than 1 year now) but some people still think i'm depsaired about her.

Another reason is that i would like to be free to say "yeah i'm not single anymore" and "sure, i'll come with bf"...sweet but impossible i think.

The last reason is that it would such a great pleasure to make them understand "you liked me but i was sucking dicks...so what do you think now? Will you fuck up your mind thinking i was a just an asshole since the beginning or try to accept it?" ... that would be nice!

It's more likely not to happen anytime soon but stay tuned!

Backlash

I didn't play so much with boyz when i was single though once i met a specific guy. This guy was starving for sex and why especially? Because he's married! Yes, it's pretty common here, notably for more than 30 years old gay (i think).

Actually, i didn't really want to meet him but unfortunately he studied in my home country, speaks my mother tongue and guessed easily from a few hints where i work. Thus i agreed to meet.

He was not the kind of boy i like  (sissy but nasty)  but i was starving too... Plus he was back in Vietnam since 6 months and it seems he had no man since that and.... "oi troi oi".

Finally, i decided not to ever see him again (Hanoi is not full of boyz but there are more than a few :p).

What happend today?

As everyday, i was iddling reading some websites when 2 guests arrived! This guy and a friend!

 My colleague introduced them to me. The guy is a friend of the other one and has no reason to be here beside that (officially... unofficially i guess it's for me or to see some neat westerners :p). I think i blushed a little at first but then i played it cool, even some chit-chat with him.

Actually, since the day i met him i was afraid of him to come to my work but then nothing happened. I just wonder if he'll try to contact me again (IM, dating website, phone, ...)?

Condom in Vietnam

Unlike Thailand, with its 7-11, it's not easy to find (good) condoms in Vietnam (Hanoi).

When i arrived and i started to need some i luckily found some western (durex) quality checked condoms in the Vincom maul as long as lubricant. Unfortunately, the stock was out in a few weeks.

Often supermarkets have some big arrival of western stuff

 then nothing anymore, i guess it's some discarded stuff.

Though, i am a bad foreigner who likes to have some westerner delicacies once in a while (a bit more often indeed), i know some westerner oriented shops and there i found the precious stuff to have safely some local delicacies ;). Thus i advise you to go to so

me westerner oriented shop or grocery they are much likely to have western quality condoms. 

The other place, i  have yet to check, is condomviet which has a website with a bit of english. While searching again for this website in order to do this post, i happen to find this: sexshopviet. Unfortunately it seems to be only in HCMC not in Hanoi... 

By the way i tried Vietnamese condoms called

 "Romantic".... it's a bit rough/thick, that is why i thought this issue deserve a post here.

Konheo

Con Heo means (the) pig in Vietnamese but it's not its sole meaning. In slang it designates also the porn stuff.  Why do i talk about that? because of this : konheo.com. 

It's a vietnamese design t-shirt shop. They make a lot of playwords in vietnamese (that i don't understand)  and they have some cute (straight) couple's t-shirts:

Ok they are not really good to do sexy photo yet but they are working on it ;)