Coming out status

I had two purpose with this blog:

1. An outlet: at the very beginning i wanted to make a personnal diary to express all the things i could not.
2. Share my (gay) life in Hanoi: later on, the first purpose was quite left aside and i wanted to talke how it is to be gay in such a city.

Recently, i have talked only about number 2 but today is number 1...mostly.

I am officialy-to-myself gay since around june 2007 while i met my bf in late July (yeah we both forget the exact date -_-). Actually it is thanks to a housemate: she told me "it's weird, usually, i don't get along with boys like these appart gays" and then i told her (and myself) that i may have some questioning on the subject. 

After being with my bf, quickly all the housemates have been told about it. The last one, a boy, could not understand what i said and though for a few days it was joke but then he understood. It was no problem COs as we were young westerners “opened to the world".

A bit later on, a new housemate arrived, a very posh and not very resourceful guy. I knew, it would be a problem but we were not getting along so we didn't met so often. Althoug, once we've  been at the nightclub at the same time, quite drunk, and he told me: 

"i have something to tell you..." (why we don't get along etc) 

so i answered him 

"Nice, me too i have something to tell you, i prefer boyz and i know you can't take it". 

His answer is memorable:

"No, You, you don't take that" (like to take drugs), 5 times in a row!

That is the worse reaction to my CO so far though i had no pressure for this one.

Later on (last winter), i finally decided to tell my best friend about it. I did it using skype late at night, it was not easy to say the words without seeing the person but finally it came out. His reaction was "ah ok" which is quite ok ;) but what suprised me is that he already had a MSM experience and it was his first time but it was not his type... I asked him not to tell our shared friends as i was not ready yet.

A bit before summer, a friend came to Vietnam and i decided to tell him though i knew if i tell him, most of my friends will be informed. After many tries, i finally succeed to say:

 "ok wanna have a drink after dinner" 

- "no i'm tired"

- "you are sure?"

- "yes i'm really exausted"

5min later

- " well i want to take a drink because i have something to tell you"

This time it was difficult because he was in front of me but finally i succeeded and he had the  "ah ok" reaction. After that he met my bf and we chatted a bit. He stayed one more week in Vietnam so i had this time to prepare my friends back home.

As often, i was lazy and i call just 2 before his coming back and the rest after that. All of them were surprised, but had the "ah ok" reaction, but not shocked and wished me"be happy together".

The final CO was eventually to my family. That was the most difficult and still going on...but may evolve toward a good end.

Today, i got the idea that it may be the time for me to start my COs with vietnamese people. Shortly, there are two (maybe 3) categories of vietnamese i know who i may do a CO.

Colleagues

When i say "colleagues" it is only the young ones that may be able not to kick me right away. I tried to do a few jokes like "well i'm not very good at getting a girlfriend so maybe i show go for boyfriend?", their answers were a big minute long silence. Although, i think the women may take it quite ok while i think the men will take it quite bad.

Friends

I don't have so much friends that are not my colleagues but they are more open minded people (in my opinion). Actually, according to my dear friend N., one of them, a girl, may have guessed already...too bad she's one of the few i'd like to try again *** with 0:-)

Why doing a coming out to vietnamese?

The first reason is that there is a lot of gossip about me (like anyone else though especially singles) and one includes a former "affair" (i use to try to date) with a girl. It's some time i don't think about her (Hey i've been with my BF more than 1 year now) but some people still think i'm depsaired about her.

Another reason is that i would like to be free to say "yeah i'm not single anymore" and "sure, i'll come with bf"...sweet but impossible i think.

The last reason is that it would such a great pleasure to make them understand "you liked me but i was sucking dicks...so what do you think now? Will you fuck up your mind thinking i was a just an asshole since the beginning or try to accept it?" ... that would be nice!

It's more likely not to happen anytime soon but stay tuned!