Women

... i hate you! :)

First, a few days ago, i did my coming out to my oldest expatriate friend here. She knew me and we talked about our desperate love (we were both bur differently in love with someone that was not, it was a girl for me :p) last year. I thought she would know me and maybe sees that now i am better but yet different. I hoped that she would have guessed that something was on but she didn't guess at all!

She was really surprised but not shocked. Actually she was shocked (in a way) by knowing who is my bf, she was astonished . Anyway she told me that she is happy because i won't get use by some vietnamese chicks.

Second, a colleague of mine told me i would make a perfect couple with one of my flatmate (girl ;)). She said so because i went with this flatmate to a wedding party and we were so nice together !

Although, the point is she asked me today if i am in love because i really look like it. It was not so easy to say no..hic hic! Consequently, i think she really has this way of sensing people and i am pretty sure she will continue to harrass me but for the moment i have the cover of my flatmate, what will it be after?

Finally i don't hate you girls ;) it's just some have this sense and some has not and in this case it's not the good one....

Sleeping with a vietnamese boy

Mwahahahah with this title i should have readers but unfortunately it's not what you think!

Just an anecdote:

I just ask my bf what are his plans for tonight and he answered:" nothing until 1.45 am". Evidently, i laughed but i asked anyway. Actually he's gonna watch the UEFA cup with his colleagues at work!!!

Vietnamese men and soccer.... can't be helped!

To be there

I have always been a lonely person in need of friends. It can seems contradictory but i think it is not. I need friends to appreciate loneliness, loneliness that i need to appreciate friends. It's funny during parties i really enjoy to set me appart and have a look at all those humans cheering all together (afraid of tomorrow?).

I could explain that by my feeling of being different though it took me around half a century to know how i am "different". It is not (only) my homosexuality, it's just a side-effect. I am just someone different, with different sight on the world, my mind full of daemons, my in(t/f)ernal daemons...

Anyway, i was really close to my mother before and only to her (yes i know, so stereotyped). With her death a some years ago, i started to be a little closer to my father but finally by moving away for studies then to go work abroad now i am quite far. At the same he is continuing to stay closer to me but i can't at the moment, i changed too much. My life changed, i'm a grown up (almost), i gain money from my work, i have friends they can't imagine, i have bf they have no idea... i manage my life and it is so different from they think.

Anyway (2), it is not the purpose of this note. Recently my father talk to me of my brother. He is in couple with a "so so girl" (to talk nice). I saw her more than a few times, she is quite cute, not mean but not interesting at all.

I know my brother, he may look like a good redneck sometimes but he is not. He started his own company and after 2 years it's going really good and he is well educated. I still remember one of his first serious girfriend. She was going to be lawyer. They were so perfect together...but they live to far from each other and were not able to live at the same place (big city vs countryside).

Finally, my father asked me to talk my brother but since 1 year i called him once and chatted with him less than 5 times. To call him to talk about his couple, to let him understand that finally he could break up. Yes because he said already it's not going well for them, he just got used to it and.... i think he is really afraid to be alone for a long time, it's not easy in deep country side!

So? I made (unconsciously) everything i could to be far from them and now i should be there for them? I don't even know if, when i ll come back, they will accept me as i am. Well, as you should know, i am a good boy and i will try to talk to him but he can be so stubborn.

...maybe it will be easier for me when i come back then....aaaaaah.... communication my family biggest flaw.

Sauna or not?

And when i speak about sauna i obviously speak about gay sauna!

Here's the fact:

I recently read on utopia, that there is a gay sauna in Hanoi! I even went there to check the surroundings of the place. It is located in a narrow and long alley, typically vietnamese. First it surprise me because you have the common life around. Second, it's quite discreet and really quiet, the front room is a moto parking (it was full last friday when i drove around there). It is also quite cheap (5$ i think).

(edit) address: Adam's Spa 92 Ngo (alley) Tho Quan, Pho (street) Kham Thien . They even have a website though i don't understand anything...

Will i go?

I think, i will go there... one day. 

• Why one day? 
  

I don't really to ask my bf to go there, i don't want him to see me as a pervert (that i may be one day :p).  When we talk he is someone who dislike the gay athmosphere (everyone knows everyone and had much "fun" with many / girly fashionned boyz etc). Finally, thanks to my confidante, i may ask him to go there with me. He and i would feel really uneasy there but it would be better for him to know that i go there and he is sure that i didn't do something bad there...

• Why going there?

I have some morbide curiosity about that kind of place, curiosity to know my "sexual comrades"! I really want to know if it is like i imagine (all that stereotypes) with people having fun anywhere or "just" a lustfull athmosphere!

Anyway i will keep my (so many) dear readers updated on that... but maybe i'll check another gay bar before (one of the nightlife places i told you before).

Videoing out

It's been one week my friend is back home. It's a little more than he knows for me. He was not my closest friend and he was not the easiest one to talk to but i finally succeeded to tell him. As thought, he was really surprised.

One evening after he comes and goes around i decided to tell him so we went for dinner together to the traditionnal bia hoi close to my home. It takes me many try to tell him. I was so unconfident i finally said "ok i want to get a sintho with you after, i have something to tell you" (he was tired and refused before i say that).

So here it is: 

- Me: "i have a big news for you as you are the first friend to visit me here: I am not single anymore"

- Him:"Great"

- "It's not a girl, it's a boy"

- "Ah, really?"

Although, as i was really serious, it didn't doubt so much. It's just i am his first friend to turn to be gay.

Here comes, the funny part: "Videoing out"

I wanted to tell my other friends before he tells them, so i decided to skype them one by one.

It went very smoothly, the first one, a girl whom i am quite close to, was surprise also but she was asbolutely ok as her aunt is a lesbian and she is totally ok with that.

The second one is my former flatmate, he was also damn surprise but doesn't care so much (was by phone... non geek people...).

The third is the flatmate of my visiting friend, he knew already (difficult to keep your mouth closed when you share an apartment). This friend went also abroad for a few years and he told that at the time he tries some things... like men, even a serious relationship and that finally it's not for him (he's thinking about wedding with his girlfriend). The interesting part with him is that his family (and his gf) is very christian but they know and it's bearable for them though i think they don't talk about it. It reassures me for when i will tell my family (which is not religious at all, lucky me :p).

The last friend, i called him at  his waking up time (noon) and just said "Ah" at first. Then he reassures me, we talked a lot, i gave him some details about my boyfriend, how it is to be gay in hanoi etc. As he is one of the few to know my family, we talked about coming out to them and reassures me about that... so i will tell them one day, next time i come back i guess.

To conclude, "videoing out" is a good idea when you are far and your friends are nice (though i wouldn't recommend it for potential problematic coming out, too easy to stop the talk). I am very proud of my friends, to have so good and open minded friends!

So i say to them (although they don't know this blog :p): Thank you!

Lucky lucky

I am crazy about this song but i really don't understand why?

• It's a good ol' 80's remixed song.
• You can hear it everywhere in bars... but not only, it's very common as a mobile ringtones!
• It's stupid lyrics
• Kinda shitty music (outside of dancing athmosphere ;))

So just enjoy it:

It's funny because i make my visiting friend listen to it. His reaction was: "you are definitely an expatriate now"... thank you ;)

Enjoy:

I just watch this video... isn't it a bit lesbianish? That would explain why i hear it often in the gay bar.. but would'nt explain i hear it also in common nightclub.

Bonux: A few days ago, i read that D&G is a gay couple... Vietnamese young people are crazy about that brand (among a lot of brands) but i think that would piss them off to know ;)

Gay night life in Hanoi*

It may surprise my fellow readers but i am not what you can call a expert of gay night life in Hanoi, nor in general :p, but i was an expert for night life before (when i was young and bald yet... joking...for a few years :( ).

Anyway, let's start with inescapable place :

• Solace (End of Chuong Duong Do):  a common night club with ok music to shitty one (depends on the dj and you) but it is a nice place as it a boat on the red river
• Lighthouse (formely barracuda) (51 Phuc Tan): the music seems to be a bit better and seems also to be less closed by police (you understand when you live here). this nightclub is located close to solace. I read some rumor it is/was gay friendly but i don't think so as it has a broad audience.
• Dragonfly (15 Hang Buom): one of the biggest "late" bar for expat. Several rooms with different athmosphere, the old staff is friendly.
• Tet bar  (formerly maquis) (2a Ta Hien): french crowded place so it has a different athmosphere compared to other bar.
• Funky monkey (31 Hang Thung): expensive and noisy place with a mix of trash-posh young vietnamese and tourists. You can forget it though i went there a few times with friends and had a few good times (taking all the dance place for us only)
• FM3 (2D Duong Thanh): same owner as the previous (but the number 3, the 1 is no more and the other is the 2 obviously). More expensive, more noisy (loud), damn cold, no space to dance and no westerners... some mafia with their money girls. Nice place! Anyway if it was a bit more friendly and with some space to dance it would be similar to the place à like in Bangkok.

Gay-friendly

• Mao's red lounge (7 Tạ Hiên): Oi gioi oi, it took me a few weeks to get in! I read on some website it is gay-friendly but actually when i get in, it was normal. Since then i read it is gay owned. Anyway the athmosphere is good (westerner only almost :/) but it's good ol' 80's 90's music!
• Apocalypse now (no adress): how not to mention it? Well it's down now but i heard it was a damn great place (i read a blog describing a gay kiss in front of everyone!!! Incredible here).. RIP with XXX (i will find the name again i promise :p)

Gay-oriented:

• GC bar (5a Bao Khanh Lane): i let you gues what GC stands for! Quiet place with a snooker and good music during the week... H.O.T. place on friday and especially saturday evening! Ultra crowded, nice modern shitty music :D. As you can imagine i like very much this place though it's a damn cruising bar...
• VTN (72 Nguyen Du): I read it's a gay place i saw nothing when i checked during the week... looks even a bit shitty though, GC is the same during the week.
• Connect cafe (So 8, Duong 2, Khu Tap The F361, An Duong, West lake ): i didn't check this one but i read it's like 'the place where to be'.
• Adam Sauna (92 Ngo Tho Quan, Pho Kham Thien): I am not ready yet to go there, i have a too bad idea of gay sauna...

Ressouces:

newhanoian.com: a general expat-in-hanoi webportal, damn useful!

utopia-asia.com: some info but not up  to date.

*: I know i am in contradiction with a previous post, let's say i am less paranoid.

Ban dang o day

(My friend is here)

He arrives a few days ago and stayed in Hanoi for 36 hours so i had no opportunity to talk to him, though we said a couple of words about "girflriends" and the girls in Vietnam (whom, i agree, can be really cute).

He will come back after a tour around the north and i still wonder if i will tell him. Previously on Battlestar Hanoi (yes i am crazy of BSG... and the season 4 is on air :D), i was really willing and very confident to tell him but i am not anymore, still the same question for me.

Well, if i find a good opportunity,not right before his departure, i will tell him. So, if it's ok he could meet my bf.

Upcoming in BSH: i will doing a little overview of (gay) night life in Hanoi.. it won't take me too long ;)