Coming out?

A friend of mine will visit me this week-end.  I won't see him for long but i'm seriously thinking of "coming out" to him.

But why?

• He is not my closest friend.
• I have almost no idea of how he will react.
• He may tell all my friends when he comes back even if i ask him not too (worst scenario).
• I don't feel that much ready.
• I don't come back soon to my home country.
• I don't want to lose friends (story of my life by relocating...) even the stupid ones who could think i'm not worth it anymore.... stupid, i know already...

Because

• He is the first one to visit me here
• The next one is my best friend, he knows already and the following would be much later.
• He will be able to say that i am still the same (abnormal guy but that's another story), though maybe happier.
• The question about my love life are coming more often by instant message.
• I want them to contact me again. As we say "far from the eye, far from the heart", as the times pass by, i don't have much contact with them.
• I want to be able to tell them everything.
• I want to be able to tell someone: "yesterday i did that with my bf, bla bla bla" and i'm far from being ready to tell my family.
• I feel like it (best reason actually), though you are never totally ready in my point of view?

The plan

We will have lunch together, if i feel ok i will talk about our friends love life and his especially. I guess he will ask for mine. I may  say "it's a bit complicated (which is true as everyone ;) )". Finally, i'll tell him i found someone nice and that is .... a boy.

If he's ok with that, i plan to go for a coffee with my BF.

Bonux: I finally know a vietnamese word (i like) to call my BF, it's "cung" like the japanese "kun" (for those who know).

"funny reading"

I just had a funny reading from the web, a christian website.

They pretend to give real news (to oppose to mass media) with, obviously a christian point view. My today reading was the article about a company showing together laying on a bed (not naked & no implied sensuality ;)). 

They were totally shocked by it, because the kids can see it. Though, to tell you the truth, in my home country, homosexuality is not such a big deal. You... we may have some problem with the coming out or with homophobic acts but all around it is quite accepted.

To conclude their article, they call readers to send mail to the company and their business partners, giving the whole list of them... despicable.

The best, as usual, are in the comments like:

"Homosexuality is bad, that's all"

"Kids will see that every day"

"5% of the people admit to have had a homosexual act, it should'nt be normalize"

Sometimes i don't miss my home so much  ;)

Couple's dinner

As I am a "mot cham pa cham" (100%) romantic guy, I had the fantasy to do a "couple's dinner" since a very long time.

Finally I did it with my bf, a (westener) friend and his vietnamese girlfriend. It was really nice to do so because I (we?) were feeling like any common couple. Going out for a nice dinner then drive around (on motobike) to have an ice cream next to some beautiful lake at night. How crazy it is to feel just normal in such a homophobic country.

Although I have to moderate myself. I say that because I am astonished by the girlfriend, she has absolutely no problem with me and my bf. More incredible is that she even say some dirty implied joke ! 

That's why I, finally, think there is some for this country. I thought everything but mentalities was evolving very fast but it seems that it is changing also (though slowlier ;)).

Here comes the summer again

Finally the summer is coming again in Hanoi. Even sleeping alone is hot again ;)

Since a few days the temperature doesn't go under 22° in the night or 25° inside the house. Now we are waiting for the rain to cool down the athmosphere where a few weeks ago it was terrible to have rain because it meant very cold weather... Anyway this will last until September, so back to the pleasure of sleeping with noisy aircond' for 6 months! Although, the best is that there is absolutely no insulation.... which is really bad in both winter & summer ...

Cheers and enjoy your nice houses in your boring country! ;)

How to meet a guy (who loves guy) in Hanoi?

It's quite simple:  come back to your country! ;)

In fact, it's not so extreme... depending on what you want.

The first idea (as a tourist) would be to hang around in the tourist district and thanks to utopia-asia you would know that a few years ago you could have a "quickie" in some gloomy toilets. That was a few years ago and I think it's not the idea anymore (the cited toilets have been destroyed).

Result: Forget it!

Second idea: the bars!

Good idea... and cool bars are pretty rare here so it won't take you too much time! Here comes the problem. As Vietnam is quite unfriendly with LGBT people you won't find it easily (and forget your lonely planet). Let's say you found it (sorry I won't tell you the name of the only one I know to protect them from too much advertisement... I am sure police knows but as long as it's not well known they don't care... asian culture). First, you have to arrive at the right time so forget during the week, or you have to be much more lucky than me. Actually I went there a long time ago during the week with a hetero vietnamese friend who had no idea of it and it was like a quiet euro bar. So you are there, it's the week-end, around 10pm, the bar is totally crowded.  Congratulations the hunt can begin!... but people seems to be so hungry ;)

Results: 

• You want to ***: welcome! 
• You want to party with some of the "best partying people" : welcome!
• You want to find the one... good luck! 

Finally, you have the incredible internet world!

That's the way I found my boyfriend (as knows those who pay attention :p). Well, I think it's like any dating website. Depending on what you want you will find easily (fun) or it will take some time. Unlike other dating website (as far as I know) you may find some money boys.. beware!

Result: Welcome to the big supermarket but if you look for a special product you will have to search for it!

Check or not?

I met my boyfriend by a dating website, obviously it's really hard to find someone "on the field" (nb: do a post about that), but since then I check sometimes the same website.

I have to acknowledge that at first it was to check the market because I was unsure that it would be a long time relationship. I continued to receive a few messages but mainly by foreigners coming for holydays or some people I call in an unfriendly way "sex machine", like the one I met at some bar (nb: do another post about that).

I continued for a time with the same (bad) idea but also to check if he still goes there... which he did! Actually, I think that he is also checking on me because it is really not often (I won't tell you how I know but you can find easily).

I already have the answer to "Should I continue?": no, I should stop and talk to him about that, would say my communication expert friend. Although, I think less and less it can't be the one (am I falling in... love?), I have to say that I like to check the 'market', especially to see if other people I met there are still online.