Sunday, September 7, 2008

Bangkok dangerous

I am a bit shameful using such a title...though it was that but not where i though!
 Here's the tale of 2 gays and 5 straight (beginners) in a 3 days week-end in Sin city.

Day 1: Table tennis
Bangkok resident and connoisseurs may know what i mean but to say it's straight it's: Ping Pong Show!
I had a quite good idea of what is it before actually see it thus i was not really motivated to go there but my male (straight) teammates were beginners to Bangkok and so wanted to see its dark side. I think a good ol' gogo bar would have been enough for them but they didn't know that.

So, we followed a Bangkok friend (farang) of mine to the (in)famous... Patpong who was following a tout who caught us on our way. A., my friend, went in to check the "quality" (i.e. swindle or not) and said everything was ok.

On stage, there were a few girls hanging between poles and some ladyboyz, the most 'beautiful' (and not only for me). Actually, girls were pretty ugly and quite fat (thai standards) but had some special abilities:
  • Ping pong ball cannon
They put lubricated  balls in their pussy and shoot it at you, your job is to kick it back in a bucket using a racket. Side effects: you may get some lubricant (water only i think) or get the ball in your face.
  • Bottle opening
You know the classic soda water you can buy in Thailand (to go along your sang som)...these girls can open it (tearable cap) with their pussy. Side effect: you might get wet (some of my friends were).
  • Razor blade dispenser
They are able to have chained razors in their pussy... i let you find out how (read 'butterfly' if you cannot find...though it's not really interesting litterature). Side effect: impressive on newbies.
  • Dart cannon
Same same ping pong balls  plus they aim at balloons, accuracy cas less 30%. Side effect: the most funny one?

Every good moment has an end and it was time to go...'check bill': 5400 bahts for 7 people, including entry fee + drink + girls drink + show. Eventually, when my friend went in for a quick check he asked for this kind of scam, no show or entry fee they said, and when in he paid a few drinks for the girls to be a nice customer...and still they try to scam us. I have to agree we looked like good stupid tourists but unfortunately my friend speaks thai and i know how to behave in this kind of situation: stay calm (while my beginners were getting fed up).

Actually, my sissy beginners were uncomfortable after 15min when girls came to them and started to tease them (how innocent isn't it?) so my friend asked the bill but it took him 15min of thai talking to reduce the bills to less than 2000bahts  (still expensive) while my friends got nervous... like the other customers.

They had the same kind of scam but were real beginners and got nervous....instantaneously big guys came in the room and made them more "relaxed". They got out right after us and were very fed up about the price (though one guy was really into this kind of show...). 

Some advices going there: ask if there is any entry/show fee, pay a drink or two to girls, stay calm and don't hesitate to talk without any nervosity... if you are being scammed for real you may try to call the tourist police (they always have a car near patpong), if you can it will sort things out but big guys may prevent you to do so and ... ;)

Day 2: Issan 'disco'

After a nice dinner on a terrasse next to Chao Praya river, i brought my dear newbies to some real thai live show: Issan cultural center (maybe the name in english). It was also the time to take a tuk tuk... just 5 people. Unfortunately, the driver understood "Issan mansion" so we had to ask our way in the street and a very gentle (but maybe a bit drunk) guy led us there (more than 5min walk, big thanks!).
We were among the first customers and dressed quite too well for that kind of place but i felt ok as i know the place.
It took around 1h for the place to get packed and so we had the traditionnal opening of the big show: national anthem.

After that it was usual stuff (for me). A mix of song and jokes. Usually i don't answer jokes as it is in thai and it's spoken only but this time it was played too. It was a (fake) ladyboy  interpreting the traditional fishing dance. Instead and detting fish in his net he attracted fish with his pussy. Unfortunately it seems he was unlucky...so he finished the job using a cucumber.  it may seems not smart but was very fun and especially while he was teasing the lead singer while he introduced the next show. Afterwards we moved to the hype disco: santhika...live music but very so so for me.

Day 3: Gogo boyz
My first time in the sinfulDuangthawee Plaza.

Quite close to the infamous Patpong there are 2 or 3 gay Soi. I knew the Silom Soi 4 with its Balcony and Telephone pub but i never dare to get a drink there, i just been to the Tapas disco (not gay oriented one). I knew also the Silom soi 2 with the famous DjStation though i never dared to go into the Soi. Finally that was the good day to get in!

I went there with my bf only. We took BTS and walked through thaniya plaza (i think), the japanese version of patpong.Contrary to patpong, the grils are dressed, out of the bars and nobody talked to me. I had a few smiles from the girls when they understood i was with a bf. Although, most of the time people thought my bf is a money boy and thai thus they speak first in thai to him: funny for me.

We had an ok dinner at Dick's cafe (i took a giant hamburger and my mouth was not big enough...) in company of a fewold  farangs some with (much) younger bf. After the dinner, i finally asked the manager where to go for a good show, he told me about the DreamBoy which a show 1h later. 

That left us some times to have a look around and try another first bar. We went to the Siam Angel Boy as they conveniently opened a bit the door for boyz to eye catch while i was having dinner... kinky :p

No entry fee nor show fee here, just expensive drinks (200bahts whatever you drink). Most of the time boyz stay on stage standing in underwear only (though including their mobile phone sometimes), sometimes they move a bit, talk a bit and that's all... so so though they are quite sexy.

Show Time
That was our first show ever... not so bad. Loud music (starwars style) while the stage curtains reveal two boyz. They start "showering" using a water bottle, erotic :p, then one is giving some pleasure to the other one... I was quite surprise because from the beginning of the show they have a hard one (it slips out) and have a condom on (safety first!) but i think they use some trick or drug (viagra?) to do so. The second part of the show was a boy having a shower in a cabin on the opposite wall of us.

After that we went to the second bar: same kind of place but much bigger, sexier boyz and more different boyz style.

In contrary the show was a real one here. It started with many boyz dancing (with some piece of clothes) on a song in the style of the Chicago musicals. They were really good dancers! The second part was: a simili SM action, 2 boyz taking pleasure from a third one, throwing him away (even on a ladder) and use some soft rubber thingy to lash him: definetly not my thing. Eventually the three had the hard on with condom...

Next was a girl (the only one apart from one in the audience) presenting some nice boyz and their thing, she always played with it and even kissed it sometimes... Then a few boyz parade with fur clothes as girls but not even ladyboy style. The bald with a small beard guy had the most applaused, really funny part.

The final was two boyz (one as a girl) imitating Carrabao (most famous thai band) but the man got shot down (bang bang) "HEEEEEELP call the doctor" and here it comes with 2 nurses. By all means they healed the shot guy, electrochoc, wc suction-cup, kiss of life, giant dildo. Everything was just for fun (no the 50x10cm dildo was not actually used!) and it was really really funny especially when nurses disputed to take advantage of the healed guy!

After such a funny show we moved on to DjStation. Nothing much to say apart that we arrived at the end of the life show (with a really fat guy vaguely disguised as a girl and he was so sissy it was funny) though some comment:

Plenty of boyz, some nice, not so many farangs but it was really cruising time, most of the people were not really dancing so we had to start the show ourselves. I was surprized as we were the only actually dancing and touching each other (not it a really kinky way :p). We were next to 2 big hunks and a fat colorful guy with huge 70's sunglasses, at least he was enjoying partying. 

That is all for this Bangkok report. Next time i will check for more places to go and especially more thai oriented one, after coming back home i found some nice listing that i will post here before my come back to Bangkok!

Last comment from my bf: all thais boyz look sissy! :-D

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